The day little little guy graced the world with his presence is by far the scariest day of my life. We were enjoying a beautiful fall day and the kids were out for harvest break. A few events lead up to this day so I will back up a bit.
Around the 20th of September I began feeling pretty cruddy. My back hurt terribly and I was having contractions that were unlike any I had felt with all the other kids. Instead of coming and going quickly I would have one super long contraction that lasted for 5 or so minutes and then go away. They weren't horribly painful, but uncomfortable nonetheless. I asked the doctor about them at my checkup the next day. He checked me and I was dilated to a 2 and 75%. He told me that for the rest of the pregnancy I was to take it easy. Like no exercise, minimal house work, no lifting ext. I took this pretty seriously since I honestly didn't feel good enough to do anything. He also gave me shots to help the baby's lungs develop faster and put me on medication that was supposed to slow labor. The medicine made me pretty sick and they took me off of that the next week. Nothing had changed, I was still contracting and still miserable. I made a last minute trip to the doctor one evening that I though sure I was in labor for real. They said no and sent me home. I was back in the next day only to have them tell me I was severely constipated. (Partially true, but I should've made them examine further)
Two days after this appointment I had a pretty good morning. I had managed to get all my laundry done and with the help of my mom the night before had my house pretty clean. I needed to run a few errands in town and fill a prescription. Patti called and wanted the kids to come help her clean out her garden. I told her no since I needed to go to town. She wanted me to just leave the kids but she had everyone else's kids and i didn't feel good about leaving them with her. I told her no. Now normally she takes no for an answer pretty well but this particular day she was relentless. Another phone call and a few texts later I gave up and decided my errands could wait a few hours. I am so glad I did. We went to her house and I wandered around the garden as the kids pulled dead plants out. I really didn't do anything. I went in the house alone to put some cookie dough in the oven. I sat down at the counter for a minute (Lets be honest, to eat some dough) and when I stood up, I felt a gush. The first thing that came to my mind was that my water broke. This had never happened to me before though so I went into the bathroom to check things out.
I was beyond horrified at what I saw. I was soaking in blood. It was coming fast and I panicked. I ran out the door and screamed for help. Mindy and Hali came running and we were in the car headed to the hospital within seconds. We left a panicked grandma and a whole herd of confused and scared kids behind. I held my breath the whole way there and listened as my two wonderful sisters in law took action. While one was on the phone with 911, the other was calling the doctor to meet us at the hospital ASAP and Weston to meet us on the Salem highway.
We met the ambulance at about the Salem church and I hopped in there hoping they could get me through town quickly. By this time I was pretty well soaked in blood to my knees and it was still coming. I tried to remain calm but I knew in my heart that things were pretty bad. They were unable to find a fetal heartbeat in the ambulance and I silently prayed the whole way there. I was scared for my life and for my kids at home, but I was terrified that my baby wouldn't make it. I felt a sudden calm as we were pulling up to the hospital but the panic rose again as they opened the doors of the ambulance and I saw the team waiting outside for me. There were doctors, nurses, anesthesia, and a whole slew of helpers standing there. People were shouting orders at each other and that's when the severity of the situation hit me.
Somehow my dad and Bruce had already made it to the hospital but no one had been able to get ahold of my mom. I was wheeled into an exam room where I was undressed and redressed by I don't even know how many people. They were putting I.V.'s in, cleaning up the blood, and asking me a million questions. It was organized chaos until they got the fetal heart rate monitor system attached. There was no heartbeat. I held my breath as tears trickled down my cheeks. They kept moving things and adjusting and trying to find a heartbeat, after what seemed like an eternity a faint heartbeat could be heard. At that exact second everyone snapped out of their trance and were back to work.
With amazing speed and teamwork, I was wisked away to the O.R. I will never forget the moment they put the mask on me to put me out. I was scared I would never wake up, but even more scared of what I would wake up to. While I was out, baby Hayes was born. He weighed in at 5 pounds 13 ounces and was in the immediate attention of multiple doctors and nurses. Weston and by this time most of both of our families waited and waited and waited for me to come out of surgery. Weston says that he was getting really nervous because it was taking so long. He couldn't get anyone to give him any details of what was happening and he was a nervous wreck.
When I finally came to, I was in a room with just myself and a nurse who had her back to me looking at a screen. I was so grateful to be alive, but so scared to ask about my baby. As tears trickled down my cheeks she turned around. She of course knew exactly what I was thinking and instantly reassured me that my baby boy was alive and would be just fine in time. I was so relieved, and it was at this point when I realized the amount of pain I was in. With all my other babies I had had spinal medication which takes time to wear off. This was general anesthesia and so I had virtually no pain blocker. I thought I was dying! The doctor came in just then and so did Weston and my mom. Dr. Evans described to us that I had a ruptured placenta and that it had torn 50% off. He did not mince words as he described to us what a miracle it was for both of us to be alive. He said usually babies will only survive up to 25% rupture and that I had lost a lot of blood. He also told me that my bladder had fused to my uterus which required surgical repair. That was what had taken so long in surgery. Dr. Evan gently suggested we have no more children as the risk would be very high. He kindly got me going on a morphine drip and allowed my kids to come in and see me.
I was so happy to see them and they me. When I had left them, they didn't understand what was happening. They knew only that it was bad and they were very scared. They knelt and had prayer with Grandma which I am so grateful for. I felt Heavenly Father's love so strong and I recognized how very blessed my family was.
This is the first picture I saw of Hayes. I was so heartbroken that my baby was down the hall, very sick and attached to so many machines and I was unable to even lift my own head. Poor Weston spent the entire night back and forth from the NICU bringing me pictures and updates. Around 4:00 a.m. I was able to get my pain under control enough to be wheeled to the NICU for a very short visit.
What a perfect little bundle I found. I couldn't get enough of those squishy ears and all his teeny tiny features. He was so beautiful.
I was a mess, and in so much pain that I didn't last long on that first visit. It had been a rough 12 hours and it showed on all of us, but we had been blessed beyond measure and were overjoyed.
